08.26.08
Call Me Chismosa
23 August 2008 – Chismis over here.
08.18.08
Talacious Conversations: the 95th edition
06 August 2008 - What an interesting (read: bitchy) comment my daughter made over dinner as she busied herself with stuffing her mouth full of humba.
Tala: I like taba! It’s yummy!
She then looks me straight in the eye and points a finger at me, eyes widening with excited, innocent delight.
Tala: YOU’RE taba! That’s why I like you!
I believe it’s time to dig up those drugs from my underwear drawer and start starving myself again.
08.16.08
Talacious Conversations: the 94th edition
26 July 2008 - The following conversation between Tatay and Tala wafted into my ears even while I was taking a light nap. Just shows how obsessed I am with my daughter’s thoughts.
Tala: Mag-shave ka nga.
Tatay: Okay.
Tala: If you’re white, I can see your shave in your face. But you’re brown.
I wasn’t able to hear what Tatay said in response to this. As I said, I was sleeping. I did hear what Tala said next.
Tala: Tatay, can you turn white?
08.13.08
Talacious Conversations: the 93rd edition
22 July 2008 - While watching TV. Tala chose some Mexican/Spanish telenovela dubbed in Filipino a la Marimar, which is the only one I remember because my classmates did an analysis of this series as their undergraduate thesis (which was the strangest thesis I ever came across, until Good Friend and Business Partner Kalon told me the graduate thesis she’s finishing now is on Yoyoy Villame… no joke).
Nanay: I don’t want that.
Tala: But that’s Saldador (or some weird title like that; I couldn’t really understand what she was saying).
Nanay: But I want to watch the cooking show.
Tala: Then just close your eyes and don’t watch.
My comments just keep coming back and biting me in the butt.
08.12.08
Talacious Conversations: the 91st and 92nd editions
91
18 July 2008 - A phone conversation between Tala and Zivv. Thank God for speakerphone capability.
Zivv: Do you want to see the (train) tracks tomorrow?
Tala: Yes.
Zivv. Okay. Sleep na.These children are so heavily influenced by their mothers.
Right, Sis?
92
21 July 2008 - So Tatay and I have been on this fight, and I’ve decided to sleep in our newly-painted room despite the faint smell still wafting through the air. Tala started to cry because she wanted me to sleep with her in her bedroom. I explained to her that Tatay and I weren’t friends yet.
Tala: I’ll tell Tatay to come up so you can say sorry to each other.
What? That was so not going to happen, and I curtly told Tala as much. The mother-daughter argument continued, with Tala alternating dramatic sniffles, bawls, and screams.
Finally, I gave in, mostly due to the fact that I was just too tired and sleepy to stick to my guns. In bed…
Tala: When Tatay say something, you listen so he will not get mad at you anymore.
Yeah. It’s all MY fault. I’m the one who NEVER LISTENS.
08.09.08
Talacious Conversations: the 90th edition
16 July 2008 - Discussing parts of the body, which was what they did the other day at school. Apparently, Tala did well in the activity, according to Teacher.
Nanay: What body parts did you tell Teacher?
Tala: Feet!
Nanay: What else?
Tala: Tummy! With a baby inside. I told Teacher you have a baby in your tummy.
Nanay: Whaaat? I don’t have a baby in my tummy!
Tala: But you say your tummy hurts, that means the baby is moving!
Nanay: I don’t have a baby in my tummy. If my tummy hurts that just means I need to poop!
Tala: Ooohhh!
Nanay: There’s no baby in my tummy ha.
Tala: There’s just udobo. A baby udobo.
Harrruuummmph…
08.06.08
Talacious Conversations: the 89th edition
15 July 2008 - Cuddling in bed, as usual. Talking about our respective days, as usual. Reading a story, as usual. And then it was time to sleep.
Nanay: Good night, Tala.
Tala: Good night, Nanay.
Nanay: Good night, Tats.
Tala: Why you’re calling him Tats?
Nanay: It’s just another nickname for Tatay. Sometimes I call you Tals, right?
Tala: Oh yeah. So we can call him TATSEEE!
Nanay: would you like to be called Tatsee, Tatay?
Tatay: NO.
Tala: Good night, Tatsee.
Nanay: Good night, Tatsee.
Tatay: MATULOG NA KAYO.
08.02.08
Talacious Conversations: the 88th edition
10 July 2008 - As part of her homework, Tala was supposed to bring 3 objects that start with B. We were looking for stuff that start with B around the house.
Nanay: What things start with B?
Tala: A Bus!
Nanay: Okay but you can’t bring a bus to school, can you? What else?
Tala: A Blackberry! I’m going to bring your Blackberry to school!
Nanay: Fat chance, sweetheart.
Tala: A Bading!
Nanay: You can’t bring your fairy godmother to school anymore, anak. He’s dead.
Tala: A Baby!
Nanay: Hey! You can bring Lola Baby to school!
Tala: But she can’t fit in the plastic bag!
Oo nga naman.
Zivvcredulous Declarations #7
Mommy: Am I your best friend?
Zivv: No.
Mommy: Who’s your best friend?
Zivv: Tala.
Mommy: In school?
Zivv: SAN MIGUEL.
Starting early, aren’t we, Pogs? In fairness, he does have a friend in school named Miguel.
07.18.08
Talacious Conversations: the 87th edition
08 July 2008 - Tatay and Tala had a tiff after she paid no notice to Tatay when he came home. She was too busy watching television. So Tatay got upset. The following details the serious conversation they had afterwards.
Tatay: Who’s more important to you, Tatay or TV?
Tala: Tatay.
Tatay: Are you sure? What’s more important, Tatay or TV? There’s no right or wrong answer.
Nanay: Tell the truth.
Tala: TV.
Tatay: That’s okay. Now this is what I’ll do: I won’t take you to school anymore because my work is more important than you.
Tala starts to cry.
Tatay: Don’t cry. I’ll ask again. What’s more important, Tatay or TV?
Tala: TATAAAYYY…
On a different note, this just in: according to our daughter, the President of the Republic of the Philippines is (drumroll please…..) GLORIA MATANGGAL ARROYO.
I swear, I did not make that up.
07.17.08
Talacious Conversations: the 86th edition
04 July 2008 - Tatay’s war with his own gender begins, and Nanay just sits back and enjoys the show.
Nanay: Who’s your favorite classmate?
Tala: Jake!
Nanay: Who do like better, Jake or Manuel?
Tala: Jake!
Nanay: Is Jake gwapo?
Tala: Yes! He’s kalbo. (proceeds to giggle)
Tatay: Okay. Jake is dead now.
Stretched
12 July 2008 - My patience was stretched to its full-blown limit today. We took Tala for her first official annual physical examination today, and believe me, it was NOT A PRETTY SIGHT.
It all started with Tatay and Tala waking up late, VERY late. I was up by 6 but they did not get up until about 8 or 9, and by this time, I was already upset over something I was doing on the computer. It didn’t help that I was by already on a caffeine high so intense I would have jumped at an intensity 1 earthquake. Then again, I jump at the sight of a lizard, with or without caffeine.
By the time we got to Clinica Manila in Megamall, we had gotten a #54 for registration. But then, the ladies at registration were quite efficient and it didn’t take long before we were up. So all was good at this point.
Labs. We’d already warned her about this, but when the guy was about to take blood from her, Tala screamed so loudly you would have thought she was a witch being burned at the stake. She kept moving and kicking that the guy couldn’t insert the needle. And both Tatay and I were restraining her, too. He opted instead to just give one quick prick and massaged her finger to push out the blood. Tala has a bruise on the tip of her middle finger as souvenir of this ordeal. Ours, more than hers.
She got her eyes tested and it looks like she’s got sight problems. That’s it. No more television. “Watching TV makes you stupid or blind or both,” I told her, eyes glaring. Looked like I scared her half to death, actually.
Everything else was a breeze after that. Oh, hold on. That’s not quite true. The most horrendous, excruciating part of the whole experience?
WAITING FOR TALA TO PEE.
We went to the bathroom a total of 4 times. There even came a point when my hand actually touched the water in the toilet bowl. How gross. We ended up having lunch at 2pm, and even then she still had not had a successful trip to the bathroom. I was getting totally pissed, and I was channeling all my evil energies at Tatay.
She finally took a piss and we were on our way home by 3pm. The drive was pretty quiet, with Tatay and Tala asleep in the back of the car.
Thank God this needs to be done only once a year…..
07.13.08
Talacious Conversations: the 85th edition
03 July 2008 - Tala’s concept of the different simple verb tenses. I think this part she gets from her father.
“Jake telled us about it.”
“Who take a bathed here?”
“Who did marry Tita Kay?”
“I do’s it like that!”
“You forgotting!”
The teacher in me cringes.
07.12.08
Talacious Conversations: the 84th edition
02 July 2008 - Driving to Trinoma for Tatay’s birthday dinner.
Nanay: I’m hungry!
Tala: I’m hungry too! My tummy is RUM-BUH-LING
Ever since she started school she has hardly spoken any Tagalog. I don’t know how I feel about that yet.
At the restaurant, where we were pigging out on Chinese food. Tala devoured jellyfish (she’s braver than her father), chicken egg drop soup, and deep fried wanton. As always, there came a point when I couldn’t finish my century egg and beef with broccoli anymore.
Tatay: You ordered it. You finish it.
Tala: YOU finish it because it’s YOUR birthday!
Um… good argument?
Walking around the mall after dinner, Tala was told that it was Tatay’s and Nanay’s turn to buy something for themselves.
Tala: (to Nanay) Why you pointing and pointing and saying what you want? It’s not your birthday.
Nanay: Because I need to buy a case for my Blackberry.
Tala: (walking briskly ahead of us, shrugging her shoulders, eyes rolling, arms flailing about in frustration) You guys do whatever you want!
Tatay: Tala, you already had your turn.
Tala: WHATEVER.
Way later, as we were settling into bed, she began talking to a stray moth flying in the room. We had seen a different one the night before and Tatay hit it with his slipper.
Tala: (to the moth that was still alive) Look o, there’s your brother in the wall of the aircon. I’m sorry we killed it. Your brother is dead na.
And then she fell soundly asleep.
“MOMMY” Vina
05 July 2008 - With just a label attached to my name, my identity has dissipated and melted into thin air. At least that’s what it felt like.
Tati and I attended our first-ever parent orientation this morning. We managed not to be late (Tati seems to think that only media coverages deserve to be showed up at on time), and therefore had the privilege of sitting 3 rows behind the front.
The orientation involved typical boring orientation stuff: teachers talking (Tati and I are planning to offer our presentation tools so that they can finally replace their archaic photos and microfish projector), question and answer… oh, they did treat us to a story-telling session before they let us go.
Our first taste of school wasn’t all that bad, except for that little label, which seriously left a rather acrid sensation in the mouth. My sister the former preschool teacher explains that they often call “Mommy” when they couldn’t remember particular names. That would be fine, except why keep the label and use it as a title when you already know the actual name?
Being a mother isn’t a title, I think. When you become a mom it just gets injected into your person and sticks there forever. Nobody calls me Writer Vina or Singer Vina or Corporate Whore Vina; that’s just who I am. So why call me MOMMY Vina?
I don’t know. Perhaps I’m just reacting inappropriately to something that small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things. But I still don’t like it. Guess I was just never a fan of labels and boxes.
07.07.08
Talacious Conversations: the 83rd edition
29 June 2008 - 45 minutes after midnight. I was the only one awake, watching episodes of House. Tala shifted and started sleep-talking. For the first time. Ever.
“Come here, Nanay. Come. (Points to my chest and smiles) This one, this one is what… I’m looking for.”
07.05.08
Talacious Conversations: the 82nd edition
26 June 2008 - Walking around Greenhills looking for Tati’s elusive headphones.
Tala: Nanay, are you sexy?
Nanay: No, I don’t think so.
Tala: Can you be sexy so that Tatay will kiss you open mouth?
The next day, I told Tatay about the unsolicited advise that Tala had given me. He smiled this small, weird, Mona Lisa type of smile and looked at me intently.
“That’s not such a bad idea, you know.”
No comment.
07.03.08
Zivvcredulous Declarations #6
Pogs was telling Mommy about his day, explaining why he had egg stain on his shirt.
Zivv: Kasi be careful. Kasi I don’t listen Teacher. I’m noisy. (All said with his sly, extremely attractive smile. Moms of female children beware.)
Mommy: Would you like to take a nap before playing?
Zivv: I can’t hear us.
Mommy: Are you deaf?
Zivv: Yes.
07.02.08
Talacious Conversations: the 81st edition
21 June 2008 - Hanging out at home with nothing to do. Was feeling lazy but Tala wanted to play. I somehow convinced her to play doctor with me, the patient, sprawled on the bed. She went off excitedly in search of her doctor’s kit.
She comes back to the bedroom empty-handed.
Tala: Nanay, I can’t find my doctor’s kit.
Nanay: Ask Ate to help you look for it.
Tala: But I want you to help me.
Nanay: I’m sick, remember?
Tala: Oh yeah. Okay. Hold on, okay? Don’t die.
06.30.08
Talacious Conversations: the 80th edition
20 June 2008 - Her questions are getting more and more difficult to respond to. This child is, by far, the most challenging interrogator I’ve ever come across.
Tala: Nanay, who’s Lola Mama’s husband?
Nanay: Papa Lolo.
Tala: (somewhere between surprised and perturbed) But… but… but… I thought she changed her husband.
Nanay: (slightly confused) Huh? No… no, she… she didn’t.
Tala: What about Papa Lolo?
Nanay: He has a girlfriend, right?
Tala: Right.
